The Helper's Heart (And The Helper's Trap)

If you are anything like me, you're growing from exhaustion into your own self-care. If you have a tender heart, if you are a natural caregiver, a mother, a friend who strives to always listen, or the person everyone leans on—you probably know exactly what that exhaustion feels like.

When you know what it feels like to be overlooked or to sit in the dark, you develop a very specific kind of superpower: empathy. You never, ever want anyone else to feel the way you did. So, you step in. You become the listener. You become the counselor. You become the resourceful one who fixes the problems and carries the weight.

You learn to climb down into the deep pits with people, sit in the dirt with them, and say, "I am here. You are not alone."

It is a beautiful, God-given gift to be a helper. But there is a shadow side to this gift, and it is a trap I fell into for a very long time. In my desperate desire to make sure no one else felt invisible, I set myself aside. I put on a cape, believing that if I just worked a little harder, stayed up a little later, gave a little more, and kept giving until I had nothing left to give I could keep the people around me from hurting.

But here is the hard, vulnerable truth: my body could not keep going; my body finally said, "Enough!!!" At some point, I had to be refreshed and renewed - that's where making time for your own self-care comes in. You cannot pour the light of Christ into others when your own mind, body, and soul are running on 20% (or even fumes).

That's why I feel wearing words of faith and affirmation can bring a smile (soul hug) to invisibility. Be encouraged - Today, try weaving just one tiny moment of grace into your routine: read a book just for joy, set a small boundary, or let yourself rest without guilt. Lay the cape down today and let God replenish your spirit.